Reflecting on my previous Blog (Re-centre the Sat-Nav), I pondered on why I had questioned the path that I was on and had tried to run ahead, striving to see what lay over the horizon?
I then realised that part of my confusion lay in the level of challenge that I was facing on a daily basis. In short, I was finding life really hard!
My ‘logic’ was based on some erroneous understanding of the joy that I was meant to encounter in everyday life. Please don’t misunderstand me, I first encountered and turned to Christ during one of the lowest points of my life and He returned, amongst many things, the concept of hope to me. Also, the last decade has had its share of mountainous adventures and abundance and also its deep valleys of grief and loss and I have needed Him every step of the way. However, I was finding that my current allotted mission field was impacting on the deepest and most vulnerable part of me. It was challenging me emotionally, spiritually and physically and I was battling fear in an area of my life that I had deemed was over and never to be encountered again.
God, it seemed, had other ideas!
Historically, I have witnessed and experienced doors ahead both open and shut tight as God has unfolded His plan step-by-step plan and I knew that Father had chosen this path for me. I had heard Him very clearly on this but, as the giants appeared in front of me, I began to re-tune my inner ear and to listen to the other voice instead.
Surely there has been some kind of mistake? This is too hard. A loving father wouldn’t allow even the narrow path to be this bumpy would he?
This sounds ridiculous to me now but as I inclined my ears to Satan’s seduction, my clarity of vision began to blur and I seemed to see scripture through a lens focussed solely on blessing and prosperity!
Now as the ground around me had begun to wobble, figuratively speaking, I was granted the wisdom to return to the cornerstone of my convictions. Back to Jesus and back to the gospels;
We know that Mary was obedient to her God given calling and in the New Testament, Luke tells us of the difficulties that she and Joseph faced on arrival in Bethlehem;
Book of Luke Chapter 2 Verse 1 ESV
And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.
The King of all Kings was born into the humblest of places with just basic provision for Him and His parents as, in the town; there was literally no room for them!
We need to move over and make room for suffering and surrendering in our Christian lives, as we follow Him!
I may not understand right now but I know that God is good and afresh I commit to follow and trust in Him and repent of being deceived by the father of lies using my own selfish desires.
Jesus lived His entire life in surrender to the will of His Father, leading to His ultimate surrender in Gethsemane and then onto His suffering and tortuous death at Calvary, every step of the way was for our own good, God’s perfect plan for the salvation of mankind!